Back to normal, or a new normal?

Here in the UK, all COVID restrictions have now been removed. No mask mandate, no free access to tests, no clear methodology for identifying new variants, no requirement to isolate even if you test positive, scant financial support for those who test positive and feel too ill to work, certainly nothing to support those who are immuno-compromised – it’s all about personal responsibility now. It’s a purely political decision from a Prime Minister whose job is on the line. And I promise there ends the political stuff…

But, what now?

For some of us, the drive to return to normal is powerful, to do exactly what we did before COVID caused the world to lock down. But for others, what once was normal, can never be again – because they can’t un-see what they’ve now seen. This vast difference in response doesn’t relate just to COVID, it’s seen with other significant life events or experiences.

I experienced this divergence post my treatment for breast cancer. There, as in any other form of life, like flocked together with like – so my support group were those who were thoughtful about the whole process and experience and, unsurprisingly, felt a need to find a new normal. Even those not actively deciding to make massive life changes made alterations. I witnessed everything from those being less inclined to put up with certain people or behaviours, to others deciding not to sweat the small stuff. Some experienced a need to fill their time with activity – to go somewhere and do or see something in every free minute, while others felt now was the time to put up their feet and do only what they really truly wanted to do. For me, while much remained the same, there were changes. Like many who’ve had cancer, I became vigilant for signs of re-occurrence – no symptom was ever innocent again, although this feeling was rarely expressed outside of my support group. I also started to train in psychology, feeling the need to make a positive difference to the lives of others.

I am confident others will experience this range post-COVID too, for when you experience something life changing, it’s hard not to examine your priorities. It may be that you’ll choose the exact same path you were following before, but it shouldn’t come as a surprise to find a significant minority will not.

I’m an extravert, so of course, there are things I’ll return to, but I’m not putting myself under pressure. We all knew our preferred methods of celebrating before COVID times. More often than not, it would involve going somewhere and/or doing something with other people – with friends or family, or simply being in a public place shared with strangers. Now I would still celebrate some epic news with champagne, without a doubt 😀 And I’d like to share it with those I love – with my family, with my friends – just not with strangers. Not yet. Maybe not ever again. But I’m in my mid-sixties, and I’ve lived a full life, one which included a year of saying yes to everything – so I don’t feel like I’m missing out 😉 Of course there’s still plenty of things to do and to experience, but I am in the fortunate position of feeling content, and having no need to chase after any of it.

What about you? Where do you find yourself on the normal-new normal spectrum?

© Debra Carey, 2022

32 thoughts on “Back to normal, or a new normal?”

Add yours

  1. I’m closer to normal(the first time that was even close to accurate) than others I know. I didn’t have much of a social life before so I still don’t get out much. I’m back to an in person book club and work unmasked at the barn.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m still navigating the new normal too. I’m returning to some activities but still wear my mask in public places and am cautious about restaurants. Glad you’re being vigilant about your breast cancer.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I do what I need to do in the new climate. I’m trying not t overthink normal vs new normal. What makes me happy, what helps me with my life, what helps my family….

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The rush to return to the old normal seems so stupid to me. especially giving up the masks in school. My son had a teacher who taught maskless for 2 days last week–then discovered she had COVID (big shock, what with her 3 small children also dropping masks ASAP). Thankfully, my son’s entire class was still wearing masks; so far they have all tested negative. And luckily, all the testing is still free…for now.

    I’m still wearing a mask for indoor shopping or meetings, or events. That’s my new normal.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can see myself continuing to wear my mask in indoor public places and to observe social distancing as much as possible. I love that I haven’t had a cold or flu for 2 years!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I worked from home and we didn’t socialize much before covid so other than the mask wearing, not much changed for me. I am glad we can go back to in-person baseball and concerts but most of them were outside anyway. I’m still wearing masks in stores even though it’s not required anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m still working through my various comfort zones. I’ve said yes to (selective) indoor restaurant meals, haircuts, and gym visits. But I’m continuing to say no to concerts, movies, and visiting people in their homes. There’s admittedly not a lot of logic to these things, other than a desire to continue to distance myself from others if at all possible. Hopefully by next year I won’t need to think about this as much. – Marty

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m still masking up when shopping or indoors outside of my bubble. About 70% of us still are doing so, by my observations when I am out. I am an introvert so the isolation didn’t bother me so much as some. I guess I can go back to feeling guilty for not being more social…LOL!

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m feeling pushed into things I don’t feel entirely comfortable doing: my grandson’s confirmation and party on the other side of the United States in May and my granddaughter’s wedding here in Seattle in July. So far, I’ve said yes. We’ll see how it goes.

    Scientists say that human beings have survived this long primarily because we’re adaptable. Insisting on getting “back to normal” isn’t the best way to make it through a troubled time.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Love it Tater 😀 Yup, I’m the same as I’ve worked from home for over 10 years anyway. I need to find a new book club as my old one died out after a number of people relocated out of the area (me included). I’m about to go away on holiday for a few days within the UK, but that will mostly be staying in an Airbnb and walking on the beach rather than socialising in public.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thanks Natalie. I’m past the 10 years period when celebrations tend to take place. I’ll probably always remain vigilant though. I hope your navigations are going well and that you’re feeling comfortable with them.

    Like

  12. I’m trying to avoid overthinking too LA as Himself is taking care of that 😉 I’m missing people terribly, and so am trying to balance getting more face-to-face time with important people against his concerns. Baby steps for now.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yup Autumn, masks are my new normal too. I upgraded some time back to the highest level of protection as the UK has been to-and-froing on masks being mandatory for a while. One bonus is that I tend to suffer badly from colds and haven’t had one for the past couple of years. I get that I’m not doing much for my natural immunity, but I’m still vulnerable (as is Himself) to serious respiratory illness, so I suspect we’ll happily continue to live with them.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Yup Jane, me too. My little germ bugs (the grandchildren) still have the opportunity to get me when I’m not masked with them (as it scares them) but they’re the only people I love enough to risk it for.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Yes, I’m the same & doing the same Janet. I was getting funny looks from my local florist when I kept mine on while buying my Mum’s flowers (it was mother’s day in the UK this past weekend), but I can take funny looks, and will cope with the comments when they inevitably happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Marty, I think we’re all busy navigating the waters, and I don’t imagine any of us can claim to be entirely logical about our decision making. I know I err on taking risks with my loved ones, while Himself’s focus remains on work. I’ve yet to see a hairdresser, but am gearing up to a pub meal booked for while on holiday with a friend next week. I’m a tad nervous to be honest, and I wasn’t asked if I was OK about it either, so… we’ll see. I’ve been OK with venues which are big, spaced out and well-ventilated, but pubs are never any of those things.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. The last couple of years has really suited introverts Deb, that’s for sure. I’ve also seen those who live with immune-suppression saying it’s been lovely being able to socialise more as people embraced the virtual experience. They’re dreading the return to in person socialising (or having to say no in order to keep safe). I noticed that masks almost completely disappeared around here, but their use is increasing again as infection numbers go up. No need for you to feel guilty – enjoy your introverted existence in beautiful VI! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Nicki, that’s the problem isn’t it, when everyone’s pace is different and there are expectations. I missed my grandson’s first birthday celebration – in the end, because my partner’s work colleague had a mystery (and life-threatening) illness that took weeks to identify. But before that happened, I was pulled in two directions – wanting to be with my grandson, yet knowing my partner was worried about the number of unvaccinated children attending. The small business he works for couldn’t have survived him being ill on top of his colleague’s hospitalisation.

    I agree, we have to work out how to adjust. I’d like to think we’ve come to better understand the plight of those living with immune-suppressed conditions. But maybe I’m being a cockeyed optimist.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Good question. Because my personal priorities have changed during these last two year [as in live a healthier lifestyle] and because my husband is preparing to retire later this year, I’d say I’m looking at living a *new* normal for the rest of my life. I’ll adapt as I go along, but my expectations are all about NEW.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I’m a pretty quiet person and hanging out in big groups was never comfortable for me. So, that much isn’t going to change. As you know, I’ve recently been diagnosed with lung problems and acting like covid didn’t or doesn’t exist is not in my new normal. I will still be careful, I will still be masked. I suppose I will still be isolated for the most part.

    But then, sometimes part of me doesn’t care. I think why not return to more normal? If I die, I die. But I don’t think I can live that way. It isn’t just my health I’d risk, I could risk other people’s health and that’s not in my wheelhouse.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I’ve just announced my retirement this June, so I am definitely preparing for a whole new normal. Speaking in terms of COVID, I am starting to get out more, and we have our first airline travel planned for next month. Still, I see a mask as a permanent part of certain activities now. It doesn’t bother me to wear one, and I have enjoyed not catching the usual colds.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Christie, that’s a big one for me too – the lacks of colds and other viruses (as opposed to THE virus) usually make my winter months an absolute misery and I’ve very much enjoyed being without them.

    Hope your airline trip goes smoothly & you have an enjoyable visit.

    Like

  25. Zazzy, “that’s not in my wheelhouse” – oh if only there were more people like you.

    I had hoped that this pandemic would bring the needs of people with conditions like yourself to the forefront of awareness, but sadly any awareness hasn’t lasted long. I hate that you are all forced into isolation, all for the want of wearing a mask in everyday indoor spaces. I get you can easily choose to avoid things like large indoor events, but it shouldn’t be necessary for ordinary day-to-day stuff to put you in danger.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Oh there’s so much NEWness going to be going on chez Bean – I hope you’ll continue to take us all along for the ride Ally 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. This: “But for others, what once was normal, can never be again – because they can’t un-see what they’ve now seen.” This isn’t just from Covid, but from everything over the past 6 years or so here in the US. Sometimes I miss my old, ignorant normal. But (ironically, I suppose), I feel healthier than at any other point in my life. I think truth is always better, even when it’s hard.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. I suspect this chimes with many people right about now Rita. As you say, we’ve witnessed so many wide sweeping changes in how people think and behave, that’s it’s hard – if not downright impossible – to need to find a new normal.

    Like

  30. LA, on the ground that I’m confident if I’d caught Covid in the first wave, I’d not be here – I can’t really engage in a discussion about whether Covid-related deaths or mental health will be more devastating. Mental health is an area I’ve worked in for many years, so I know what you’ve said is correct. But a horrendous number of people died, and that number would’ve been but a drop in the ocean without lockdowns. What I think matters is that more financial assistance and resources are needed for mental health than ever before. But as it’s not something which much bothered governments before, I’d be surprised to see that situation change.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. My Covid experience is different than most, as I live in a place where there was only ever a brief shutdown of about six weeks in early 2020. Things returned to “normal” pretty quickly here thanks to a conservative governor who values freedom over personal safety or the greater good. Ugh. In that sense, today feels about the same as it did a year ago.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Gosh Mark, that’s hugely different. One of those times when all you can do is take care of yourself & be grateful that you live rurally. Glad you & Tara made it through despite the challenges.

    Like

Leave a comment

A WordPress.com Website.

Up ↑