My neighbour’s cats

I may have mentioned before that I have a fabulous – if eccentric, quirky and downright bonkers – neighbour.

When we first moved in , Bernie had an elderly, long-haired, ginger cat. Spike was wont to keep to her patio, sitting on the garden furniture, where he would allow those who came to visit him to pay him court. When he died of a grand old age, my neighbour was bereft.

Recently a fluffy tabby kitten called Stan came into my neighbour’s life. Absolutely adored and indulged, he’s a character with as much of a clean fetish as his owner.

Until he had “the operation”, Stan was only permitted outdoors on a long lead and Himself took to paying him a visit upon arrival home after work. I’d get regular updates on Stan’s development, and it was clear that Himself and Stan had bonded, while he only tolerated me (despite my having a reputation as something of a cat whisperer). After the operation, a now-freed Stan would rush to the side of Himself’s car to greet him, where they would engage in a chat – and I continued to get my regular updates on Stan’s welfare from both Himself and Bernie 😉

That is, until the fateful day when my catalytic converter was stolen. My car just happened to be parked in Himself’s usual space that day and, in total ignorance of the dreadful deed, I started the engine. A terrible noise rang out and Stan, sitting on the gross nearby, did a positively cartoon-like leap into the air… and has never been near Himself’s car again. Indeed, he totally ignores Himself when outdoors… but now comes tap-tap-tapping on our patio door, to have a play date instead 😀

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Before Stan and Spike, there was Murphy and Paddy. Now, I never met them, but the pictures show big, fluffy, ole ginger cats. Murphy and Paddy welcomed the Siamese kitten that Bernie’s daughter brought home unexpectedly one day. It had a name so weird and exotic, I cannot even attempt to type it. Now, it clear that Bernie’s daughter is an out-and-out snob, and was apparently furious when her mother took her precious kitten out of her bedroom to mix with the Heinz 57 cats (as she dubbed Murphy and Paddy). As the common nature of the Heinz 57 cats clearly rubbed off on the Siamese, she left it behind when she moved out… until the day her mother went to visit family in Ireland, when she was called up to cat sit.

I don’t know if you’ve heard a Siamese cat’s meow, but it sounds like the plaintive wailing of a small baby. Shortly after Bernie left, this cat started to wail, and did so constantly until Bernie’s daughter took him to the vet. Want to know what the vet diagnosed? Nicotine withdrawal! It turns out the cat had been born into a heavy smoking household, and because Bernie also smoked back then, it was able to climb into her lap every time she lit up. As Bernie’s daughter never smoked, it was suffering – so the vet suggested she light a cigarette, put it in an ashtray and leave it to burn. So long as this was done multiple times a day, the Siamese was a happy cat and Bernie didn’t attempt to give up smoking until after it’s demise 😉

For various practical reasons, we cannot currently have a pet, so we have to live vicariously. Come share your pet stories – be they good pets or bad ones, yours or someone else’s!