An ABC journey through self-care

You know I love an ABC opportunity, so when I saw both LA and Tater doing this, I resolved to put pen to paper (OK, fingers to keyboard) on the subject, especially as it’s one which is close to my heart as someone who’s both worked with mental health and suffered with depression for much of my life.

A – Affection
A hug when he comes home from work is how I greet Himself. I could (and do) pretend I’m doing it for him, but the truth is I’m doing it for me.

B – Breathing
When I’m feeling stressed or rushed, one sure-fire sign is that I’m breathing either rapidly or shallowly. So, I make a point to stop and breathe – great, big, deep, slow breaths. And I focus on the in and out of the breath to remove any other thoughts from my mind.

C – doing something Creative
Other than writing and photography (which appear elsewhere), you may well ask what I’m doing that’s creative. Well, most often, it’s colouring. Beautiful colouring pencils or thin felt tips, and a lovely Mandala…

D – Date Yourself
A gallery visit, a walk along the seafront, a café to people watch, and a mooch around a bookstore, being some of my solo date choices.

E – Exercise (or walking your arse off)
It’s been a while since I engaged in exercise of any sort other than walking my arse off. It’s not just the physical benefits, I find the regular rhythm of my feet striding to be restful and I mull things over.

F – Friendship
From a self-care perspective, the difference which having a tribe makes to my ability to cope with hardship, disappointment, hurt, even trauma has been immeasurable.

G – Grounding
My desk chair requires that I have an upright posture, so my legs fall naturally into a 90 degree angle and my feet press flat on the floor. I flex my feet and my toes while sit and work.

H – Hot Beverage
Multiple different teas to choose, rich and warming hot chocolates, a coffee I’ve spent time and energy getting from bean to cup – Sheldon Cooper, I doff my hat.

I – Industry (doing stuff)
Chosen from my extensive to-do list, doing a non time critical item can give me a boost which is entirely disproportionate to the size or importance of the task itself.

J – Jokes
Every single day, Himself sends me funny stuff on Instagram. I wait till he comes home and we look at them them together. In truth, he tickles my funny bone most of all, but I love our daily laughter slot.

K – Keepsakes
Some items are tucked away, others are displayed, but all of them have an emotional connection to someone I love (or have loved).

L – Learning
I seem to be constantly signed up for one training course or another, and I miss them like crazy when I’m not. Stretching my brain really works wonders for keeping the blues at bay.

M – Music
Loud & rocky for stomping around to when feeling angry, a fun beat for getting up to dance the blues away, lyrics which resonate with whatever emotion I’m feeling, soaring notes for providing uplift. It’s all there.

N – Nutrition
The right food – by which I mean a nutritionally balanced diet – is great for maintaining good mental health. But there’s also the ‘bad’ stuff which can be a great source of self care when applied as occasional treats – I mean, good quality chocolate is almost sin-free, surely…? 😉

O – Outdoors
Ideally I’ll walk in it, even more ideally it will be somewhere lovely to look at, but even sitting in the car with the window open so I can feel the breeze if the weather is absolutely disgusting, can do the trick.

P – Photography
Using the manual settings on my camera involves a lot of focus, so it’s just me, my camera and the image – nothing else intrudes. I can be in any environment, no matter how crowded and noisy, and be quiet in my head.

Q – Quiet
I’m live by open fields and work from home, so it usually quiet. I rarely listen to music or a podcast or the news, simply enjoying the quiet. Sadly, that’s highlighted how noisy a keyboard can be!

R – Reading
I know I’m in trouble if I can’t read. And during the first Covid lockdown, I couldn’t. Fortunately, that didn’t last long (my trouble reading if not Covid), and I once again have my source of comfort, escape, pleasure, amusement, education and more.

S – Scent
I love to use essential oils, but everyday aromas are joyous too – – so much good stuff happens via the nose.

T – Textures
I find nothing more soothing than to run my palm over a material with a nap, like velvet, velour, fake fur, that kind of thing. I also love the feel of cashmere against the skin.

U – Unfollow
The first time I unfollowed or disconnected with someone, I felt tremendous guilt. But then I really enjoyed not seeing their content, so I got over myself. And I use the block button like a demon – it’s where I let my judgemental sense off the rein 😀

V – Volunteer (pass it forward)
One of the best things to do when you’re feeling rubbish is doing something for someone else. And it works every, single time – I walk away feeling like a million dollars. And when I come back down to earth again – no matter what I’m struggling to deal with, I know I can manage.

W – Writing
I first discovered the therapeutic value of writing in my 50s when I’d ended my sole long-term relationship, was on rocky ground financially and re-building my life from the ground up, then got breast cancer. Writing proved to be cathartic.

X – do something Xtra special just for you
This is the indulge yourself item on my self-care list, the metaphorical bubble bath with candles moment, except I don’t do baths… but there’s lots of other way to be self-indulgent.

Y – create a Yay/Yippee list
Or a gratitude list by another name 😀 I don’t have a regular gratitude practice anymore, because I’ve now become used to reframing on-the-go, such that it’s almost second nature.

Z – Zone Out
Doing absolutely nothing… without guilt (which is the important bit). I ignore the overflowing to-do list and the daily chores – and I allow myself to just be. It’s simply the best.

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These days, in what you could call an act of self-care, I now take two blogging breaks a year – and this feels like the right time for my summer break. Perhaps a little earlier than usual, but with lots (lots & lots) to do, this feels like a natural point to pause. I’ll be back by September at the latest but, if I miss blogging too much – maybe earlier. And I reserve the right to read your blogs if I find a few moments to myself 😉

What are you go-to methods for self-care (even, maybe especially, if you don’t call them that)?

© Debra Carey, 2023