A Year of Saying Yes

My old friend Gemma says I had a mid-life crisis shortly after my 50th birthday 😀 I cannot deny that it was a big turning point, and a time when I finally made life changing decisions.

Mark asked in a post a while back what was the biggest risk I’ve ever taken, well this was it 🙂

I called a halt to my relationship of 14 years, leaving with just enough to furnish a one-bedroom apartment, and only sufficient money to put down a rental deposit on said apartment. I felt broken, worthless, and was desperate to get out. But what followed was the most amazing year of my life.

I lived on my own for the first time ever in my life. I’d gone from my parents’ home, via boarding school, to living in shared rentals, then being the only adult when living with my young daughter, to owning a house with my ex, and the prospect of being completely alone made me incredibly nervous. So much so that I slept with a light on in the apartment for a few weeks. I came to love my little apartment, even to feel safe about leaving the doors unlocked and the bedroom window open at night – this despite the discovery of a dead body in a rubbish bin just down the road! 😀

I decided it was time to do those things I’d have been too scared to do before. Not leaping out of aeroplanes risky, but saying yes when opportunities came my way, getting out there to meet new people, going to places and doing things which I’d lacked the confidence to do before.

I didn’t love everything I tried, but I did have fun trying them, and I did love a lot of what I tried. I made so many new friends during that year, and had an absolutely amazing social life. Recently I laughingly said to my coach that it was a great year, despite having to deal with cancer and debt. And I meant it wholeheartedly.

Despite being very happy in my bubble with Himself now, there’s much about that year that I miss and look back on fondly. For I finally embraced who I am, and came to like myself enough to enjoy living at full throttle, instead of playing it small and quiet. Being single stopped feeling like a burden and became a pleasure. I can honestly say that year set me up for the rest of my life.

Since then I’ve been able to face and deal with some deeply buried fears, to take risks in choosing a new career path, to believe in myself as a writer, and to leave myself open to failure and critique in order to achieve what I set out to do.

Anyone who has always lived their life fully will not be able to understand the freedom that year gave me, but I went from prioritising being the perfect partner, parent, child, sibling and employee, to putting myself, my needs and my wants first… and it was liberating. I selfishly had an awful lot of fun, and learned more than I had in all my previous years decades.

It was a risk, the biggest I’ve ever taken, and although I’m yet to attain proper financial security again – with the sole exception of bringing up my daughter, it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.

If you were to have a year of saying yes, what things might you do that you’ve held back from saying yes to before?

© Debra Carey, 2023