A lighter take on becoming old

I’ve first hand knowledge that the responsibilities, stresses and strains of elder care are no joke, nevertheless I’d like to share with you a couple of lighter memories from my experience.

My father had a pacemaker which involved regular check-ups. What turned out to be the final check-up was when his dementia was relatively advanced and he’d be described as frail, if still a big man, being 6′ 4″ and built to match. My sister-in-law and I were tasked with taking him for this appointment and, on arrival, let out a whoop to discover there was a disabled parking space immediately outside the door of the heart department and, even better, that a wheelchair was available.

Feeling luck was on our side as things continued to go smoothly, we foolishly started to relax. Unfortunately, by the end of the appointment, my Dad was tired and had used up his limited supply of cognitive and motor skills. So when it came time for us to manoeuvre him back into the car, nothing was working. But bless him, he neither complained nor got cross, and instead we three ended up having a fit of the giggles at the sight we must’ve made caught up in our three-way slow dance 😉

Fortunately a passing medical professional took pity on us, and we received a firm lecture about following her instructions to the letter. It was most unlike the three of us to comply so meekly, but we held it together until the transfer was a success, then giggled all the way home.

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The second memory is that of my grandmother who was what could politely be described as quite the trial to live with, even before beginning to suffer with dementia in her later years. One evening, in a moment of inspiration, instead of delivering the demanded large glass of whiskey at the appointed hour, my mother told my grandmother that she’d given up drinking. And, just for a moment, my grandmother couldn’t remember whether she had or hadn’t….

That moment of inspiration meant the final years of caring for my grandmother were made so much easier. And who’d have thought a benefit of dementia would be that a long-term alcoholic could forget she drank? 🙂

Where do you stand on the subject of black humour? Do you think there are subjects which should be excluded?

© Debs Carey, 2024