When Karma does her job…

We know a guy and, over the years of knowing him and his girlfriend, I have taken to calling him a cocklodger. For those unfamiliar with the term, it means a man who moves in with a woman and doesn’t contribute financially to the household pot (as I learned on the Mumsnet forum).

His cocklodging wasn’t immediately obvious, for he spoke as if the life he led with his girlfriend was on a “we” basis, rather than and a “me” and “her” basis. Except, knowing how much he earns (for reasons I won’t go into here), the lifestyle he was able to lead did not add up. He not only appeared to have money to burn, but burned that money on things like expensive holidays and a nice car.

TBH, it would’ve been easy to ignore this, but for the fact he regularly sprinkled his conversation with “why don’t you have/buy yourself a nice…?” or “you really should get yourself one of these… ” with all the items mentioned being expensive or just plain unnecessary. But when he not only bought himself a brand new (and top of the range) Harley Davidson motorbike with money he inherited following the death of a family member, but also immediately bought another motorbike, while his girlfriend muttered darkly how neither she nor her (adult) son would be lending him the money to pay the loan, ‘cos they’d been burned that way before – it was difficult to do other than raise our eyebrows…

When a third motorbike appeared some time later, for which it transpired his girlfriend had loaned him the money – this despite paying multiple 4 figure vet bills for his dog – what had started out as a joke, now began to look a lot like the truth.

We were busy doing that “it’s none of our business” thing when, out of the blue, his girlfriend announced their relationship was over and that he was moving out to live with his new woman. In due course, him, his giant TV, his game console, his car and his 3 motorbikes all moved out and straight in with the new woman – at which point he started to walk around like a dog with two dicks (Himself’s words). Himself comments that the busy social life he’s now leading is causing him to look tired and haggard, but that he’s talking big about their plans to buy somewhere together.

Until, all of a sudden, there’s a change of address notification. Oops! Have the brakes been put on to love’s young dream? The word on the street is he was thrown out, and now rents a room in a shared house. Why? Well… in all honesty, we don’t know that part of the story for certain – but the belief is she’s found out he’s all talk and no trousers when it comes to money so, while they are still seeing one another, he is not being permitted to cocklodge.

The strain of having to pay his way socially, and for the roof over his head, and for all his bills… is beginning to show. His ex-girlfriend has taken to calling him “an angry little man”. Indeed, he recently ranted at her – you know, the woman who kept him financially for 10+ years: “do you know how expensive food is?”

Oh, the irony… for yes, he’d not even paid for a single grocery item while cocklodging with her, despite demanding the expensive products required for his keto diet.

In truth, I have no question for you my fellow bloggers. This tale of Karma being a b***h made me chuckle, but also to believe it is possible for retribution to happen to people who deserve it. And in the current climate, that felt like something we could all do with. Enjoy! 🙂

© Debs Carey, 2025