Just of late, in addition to the health challenges I’ve been dealing with, I’ve also been feeling somewhat peeved. Sometimes those words have been a true reflection of the emotion I’ve felt, while at other times, it been very much a polite euphemism.
Here’s the kind of thing I mean…
My car has just had its sixth flat tyre in as many years. Due to increasing age and physical limitations, Himself & I now choose to engage a service to carry out the replacement task. And while the need to commission someone to do stuff you once did without thought is a facet of ageing that I do not love and does significantly peeve me, that wasn’t the primary source of annoyance. What sparked my frustrated fury (OK, so what I was feeling was a lot more than annoyance) is that surely six flat tyres in six years is excessive – especially for someone who does very few miles? Himself, who does more than double my mileage has had one flat tyre in that timeframe. I may have thrown my toys out of the pram about this, especially after the situation was made worse by the website for said service acting up – not once, not twice, but three times! Fortunately their customer service the following morning was exemplary, meaning I was able to downgrade back to peeved.
In my day job, I work for an IT company where the staff have operated remotely for 10+ years, and where each of us provides our own hardware and internet connectivity. As I had to upgrade my PC late last year, I’m – once again – using the most modern hardware. By dint of the fact I’m usually the first to upgrade, I’m also the first to encounter the inevitable incompatibility issues between the newest and most modern kit (mine), and that kit which is used at our HQ (where our boss actively avoids updating anything).
Over the years, when any problem is encountered, the presumption is always that the fault must be me or mine. Yet 99% of the time, it turns out not to be. So far this year: the company is using an old style protocol which internet providers in the UK now block or don’t allow; and an upgrade within Microsoft’s security settings is preventing me using the tools designed eons ago to maintain the company’s databases. It’s always a ridiculous process while we do the dance until – finally – it’s established it’s a limitation at HQ. My advice to you is unless you’re an IT techie, do not work for an IT company, for this is how techies treat normals.
And finally…
While windows have always needed cleaning, having really high ones has necessitated the acquisition of specific kit with extendable poles… and that’s just for the indoors. Outdoors, our landlords require a professional window cleaner be engaged to clean on a monthly schedule. As certain of the windows would require a step ladder in addition to the extendable pole kit, I’ve been more than happy to sign up the recommended individual. But I was hugely disappointed to discover they use some sort of brush with a drip system, and they don’t wipe down the glass afterwards. So, despite being cleaned, our windows constantly have dried on drips. I’m not peeved enough risk my terrible balance on the cobbled surface outside certain of the windows – indeed, I accept this may be why the window cleaners use that decidedly unsatisfactory system. But I do miss my wonderful old style window cleaners who, despite looking like escapees from a punk rock band… left absolutely no drips ๐
How well do you cope with things which you previously did yourself but are unable to do now due to ageing/illness/injury? Are things getting to you more – and do you know why? Do you have a system which helps you to feel less peeved or unhappy with life?
ยฉ Debs Carey, 2025
I was going to say that I’m still easily peeved by many things but then I stopped to think. My realization is that I can still do most things that I used to, or want to but I thankfully know what I can’t or shouldn’t attempt and typically find ways around the frustration or just get help. Other things peeve me off more- like our social systems and government and yes, I do know why but we don’t need to go there ๐
I will say though, in your tire example, that really does seem excessive. Do you drive in construction zones a lot? Getting sharp things impaled in the tires? If not that seems like a possible “bad roads” problem that the city/township needs to address?
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Since I’m a competent perfectionist and impatient, my philosophy is generally, “F___ it, I’ll do it myself.” You can imagine how well I am coping with increasing physical limitations. I am trying to change my mindset, but therapy is very expensive LOL. In the meantime, many, many toys have been thrown from my pram. But as to the flat tires, I had multiple flats despite minimal driving a few years ago. I suspect it was due to cop neighbor’s not-to-code McMansion expansion and construction at the middle school nearby. I stopped getting flat tires after both were complete.
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Deb, I hear you about frustrations that we know but have decided we don’t need to go there.
The tyre problem I’ve put down to a change in car. I used to drive VWs and while I had the odd flat, it was only the odd one. Since changing to my Honda, that’s the only complaint I have with it. Himself drives the same roads as I (plus lots of other ones I don’t go down) but still drive a VW. I’m thinking there’s something there which is causing the disparity. I needed an automatic gearshift in a hurry and this was all I could get at the time. I’ll either go back to a manual shift after the knee op, or change back to a VW.
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Autumn, that was SO me too, so the past few years have been a learning curve. I still struggle with the limitations, but am becoming more accepting of them. Himself, however, is still battling them hard. That said, he’s 5 years younger than me, so probably not surprising.
I’m putting the tyre problem down to changing from a VW (Himself drives a VW) to a Honda. I hope to be able to change car in due course – maybe even back to a stick shift!
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Iโm ok with handing over the reigns. Iโve painted the apartment every time it needs painting and Iโm done. Same to flat pack furniture. Iโve reached the age where I donโt want to do these things anymore
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Yes. I do find these kinds of problems upsetting. Last week I replaced a battery in a smoke detector on the ceiling. I carried a very heavy ladder into the house and carefully climbed up. No matter how many times I tried to replace the smoke detector, I couldn’t get it back up. And then I was really more than peeved. So I called someone, a pleasant tall man who easily replaced it. It was an expensive trip, but I was so very grateful to him.
I’m old enough that I love to have people do things for me. It’s not always easy to find them, though.
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I have had ONE flat tire (tyre) in my entire life. If I were you, I’d be worried the Automobile Gods were trying to tell me something!
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LA, I was OK with the decision that I didn’t want to do thing anymore, it was the knowledge that I couldn’t do them even if I wanted to that I’ve struggled with. But it’s just another step on the journey to still being here, so I’ll come to terms with it in due course.
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Nicki, your story reminds me of an alarm that I couldn’t silence when house sitting for a friend. It was the second alarm I had troubles with there, the first one being for the water filter, which was like a klaxon and impossible to ignore.
The finding of useful people to do chores for you is, indeed, the tough part, and is one I’m struggling with again having relocated. I haunt local Facebook pages for recommendations.
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You’ve got it in one Mark, that’s what’s worrying me. Prior to this sequence, I’d had no trouble at all.
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Yeah. I get it
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๐
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We have an electric now–no more manuals for us. Alas.
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Autumn, I was (hugely) tempted by electric when they first came out, but I’m (a lot) less keen now due to the fact that we can’t have our own charging point as we tend to live in apartments. Pretty much all manner of petrol stations and supermarkets have them, but the thought of having to spend so much of my time in either of those locations simply to charge up my car is an anathema to me.
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I understand that. But with turbo charging at stations, it can take as little as 20 minutes while you shop.
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Ah thanks Autumn, I’ll be honest, I haven’t checked them since we moved, as our previous town had so few, they were constantly in use. I shall go looking…
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