What I do miss…

Nora Ephron famously wrote a list of things she wouldn’t and would miss after her death. Having covered those things I don’t miss last year and, while once more acknowledging you don’t need a momentous occasion to look back on a life led to carry out this exercise, here’s some things I do miss…

• Bacon. Eating healthily means no bacon because of the nitrate. We tried nitrate free bacon once, but it wasn’t the same. Why does nitrate have to cause bacon to taste so damn good? 🙂
  
• That innocent time before I realised my mother was a narcissist. While it answered many questions, it’s been emotionally difficult adjusting to the knowledge that – for decades – the person I trusted and relied on, never actually had my back.
  
• Having my lovely neighbour just across the hallway. We still talk on the phone and meet up, but it’s not the same. I really don’t miss the old place, but I do miss her very much.
  
• Being able to host family get togethers since downsizing. Eating out together is enjoyable, but I loved hosting, especially the setting of an attractive table. I felt genuinely sad saying farewell to all my lovely tableware.
  
• Weekends with my single girl friends – something that was a regular on the calendar in my fifties. We were all in our forties or fifties, having busy/demanding careers, with children aged from tweens to twenties. We’d gather in the home of one or other, drink gin, wine or fizz, eat scrumptious food, talk about all manner of things, laugh, make plans to retire and live together likeThe Golden Girls, all while putting the world to rights. Sadly, after years of happy harmony, two of our number had a major falling out, and the group dynamics never fully recovered.
  
• My father. He died nine years ago, but had been suffering with two forms of dementia for a few years beforehand. As part of the family group caring for him at home, it was impossible not to mourn even before he left us. But as the years have gone by, he’d be pleased to see there’ve been more joyful and funny memories, with less of those which hit hard. He wasn’t perfect, but he was the best parent I could have wished for.
  
• Cooking. I don’t miss the drudge of menu planning and having to cook, but I do miss pottering in the kitchen. And, inevitably, when someone else cooks, the menu tends to align more to their tastes.
  
• Watching rugby in a crowd. I’ve not attended a live rugby game in nearly 15 years, and it’s probably 10 years since I watched a rugby game in a pub with a crowd of supporters. Himself isn’t a fan of the game and, while he ensures that I get to watch as much as I can at home, I do miss the camaraderie and the banter of other supporters.
  
• The selfishness of being single. Not having to think about another person when deciding if you want to do something. Also going to/doing stuff you’re not interested in because your partner is. I genuinely like being part of a couple, but there are things about my single days which I cannot deny missing.

What do you miss?

© Debs Carey, 2026