…. keep saying “yes” when I want to say “no”. I’ve become a lot better at saying “no” – although I can struggle when it’s to those I love.
We’ve all got To Do lists – and I’m willing to bet that some of them are absurdly long, even overloaded. But what about having a list of things you Don’t – or Won’t – do?
There’s some stuff you could put on a potential Don’t Do list that is about being a better person – stuff like how you treat people who are serving you: don’t be rude, don’t blame them for stuff which is outside of their control, don’t be a jerk and take advantage of the fact that they can’t tell you to **** off, but what I’ve listed below is a Don’t Do list that is all about me.
Here’s my Don’t Do list for your enjoyment 🙂
Don’t…
- say “Yes” when you want to say “No”
- be a people pleaser
- expect your body (and your emotions) to run on empty
- cut corners on your sleep
- eat junk food, except as an occasional treat
- mis-use alcohol and drugs (prescription or recreational)
- hold it all inside
- forget to have fun
- talk yourself out of good ideas
- trash talk to yourself
- beat yourself up when you make a mistake
- try to run before you can walk
- stop doing what you love if someone says it’s a waste of time
- give up on your dreams
- allow yourself to become overloaded
- harbour corrosive and bitter thoughts about other people
- overthink, mither, or become obsessive
- allow others to take advantage of you
- allow anyone to make a fool of you repeatedly
- give your trust to someone who’s proven to be unworthy
- forget to laugh, even at yourself
- forget to be kind to yourself
- feel you have to smile
- sweat the small stuff
- forget to get outdoors (it’s good for your mental health)
- feel guilty about taking “me” time
- be afraid to say “yes” when it’s something you really want
- get drawn into other people’s drama
- hesitate to walk away from people who put you down
- forget to accept compliments with grace
- worry what people you don’t like or respect think about you
- feel bad or embarrassed because you cried
- forget that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary
What about you? Do you have a Don’t Do list? If so, what’s on it – or what might you put on one?
© Debra Carey, 2022
I made one of those recently. It’s here http://theycallmetater.com/2022/02/17/instead-of-a-to-do-list-i-think-i-will-try-a-to-dont-list/
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You are so right about life being short. Loved your list. I live alone so a big one for me is not to give up opportunities to spend time with friends and family because I have things to do.
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I love this idea. I’ve never thought about a Don’t Do list, but I think I’d better give it a shot. Yours is a standout model!
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Mine is don’t get on the phone with my mother after 8pm because I don’t have the brain power
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It’s a good, thorough list. Of course, I would probably trash talk myself for not obeying the list if I had one, which would then violate one of the rules on the list.
If I had a list, it should probably be: It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to say no. Be patient with yourself. You are loved, and you are lovable.
That is the list I most wish my parents had instilled in me.
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Love this! It’s so good to remember.
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What a great list! You nailed it.
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I recall it – it was a good list 🙂
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Thank you Natalie 🙂 Good call on your choice – I need to do more of that as I’m so focussed on work at the moment. Also, I think the past few years has meant I’ve fallen out of the habit of socialising but it is so important – especially when you live alone.
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Thanks Jane 🙂 I re-purposed it from a piece of my life coaching writing.
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😀 LA, that is a fantastic one! I shall immediately add it to my list as well.
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Autumn, those are great selections to add to anybody’s list. And if only all parents instilled those qualities in their children.
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Thanks Sara. While there’s always a danger it could get used it as a stick to beat myself with when I inevitably fail, I much prefer it to my to-do list and that negative possibility has never occurred 🙂
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Thanks Donna 🙂 I did my first one some years ago as an example for a piece of life coaching writing, but found it so useful that I update it from time-to-time.
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Figuratively, I think I often try to run before I walk. I need to remember that doesn’t work very well! Literally, not a chance. I’d be tripping over my own feet.
Great list, by the way. I can’t find fault with any of these.
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No trash talking to oneself? That’s like half my day! 😉 I do really appreciate the one about not allowing anyone to repeatedly make a fool of yourself. I think I’ve allowed that to happen in the past with close ones, and that’s now a no-no. I’m glad to see you thought about that too. Great list, you did indeed nail it. – Marty
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Mark, thanks. It’s been a while in the honing if I’m honest 😉 Like years and years….
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Thanks Marty 🙂 Yeah, that not allowing anyone to repeatedly make a fool of yourself was a hard learned lesson. But we all get there… eventually 😀
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Good for you, Debs, for putting together this Don’t Do list. Many of those same items apply to a lot of us, I’m sure. Off the top of my head, my top three don’ts in this moment are 1) don’t fill your time with activities just to be busy; it’s okay to just be still; 2) don’t feel guilty for indulging on occasion; just be mindful and savor whatever it is; and 3) don’t forget to spend time in nature. Thanks for the inspiration to this about my own Don’t Do list.
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Ooooh Christie, nice additions 🙂 Thank you.
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