By the time I get to…

Phoenix sorry, not sorry to Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell 😉 in this case, it’s by the time I reach the grand old age of 70.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t (and never have had) a bucket list, instead I thought I’d take a look back at some of the places I’ve been to and the experiences I’ve had. And, just for fun, I thought I’d see how close to 70 I could get in the year running up to my 70th birthday.

1. The Taj Mahal
   Born in Delhi, I was fed up of being asked “so, what’s the Taj like?” because I’d left India when I was 11 without having visited it. So, when living in Bangladesh, I asked if a diversion to Delhi was an option. Aged 19, my Dad took me to see the sights of Agra, and to visit the little home we’d lived in when I was a baby, even meeting the people who’d been our downstairs neighbours (and, remarkably, still lived there). The Taj itself was breathtakingly beautiful, even with the crowds. A truly memorable trip, made even better by having shared it with my Dad.
   
2. Sailed the North Sea
   At 21, I was part of an all female crew on a tall ship called The Winston Churchill which sailed from the UK for 2 weeks to Holland and Denmark. It was tough to stay awake during the midnight-4am watch, but so worth it for the unforgettable experience of sailing the North Sea, passing oil rigs lit up like Christmas trees in the middle of dark nothingness. We were there to do the donkey work, so were pushed hard, but I came away with some proud moments: I climbed the rigging into the crow’s nest, climbed out onto the square sail, and onto the bowsprit to release the sail(s) – all while underway, and despite my terror of heights and falling.
   
3. Paris
   I’ve visited a few times – if not as many as I’d like – but I’ve seen most of the sights and enjoyed many of the museums (except the Louvre ‘cos the queues were simply ridiculous). I’ve watched a club rugby match live in a ground, and international rugby on a big TV in a smoky pub crammed with loud & proud Parisian supporters. On any future visit, I’d choose to re-visit The Orangerie and the D’Orsay museums, do more sitting in cafés, eating amazing food, drinking good Beaujolais Nouveau (‘cos they keep that in France) and lots of walking.
   
4. Monet’s Water Lilies
   As a young woman, I was drawn to Impressionist art, but it became so clichéd, I’d rather fallen out of love with it (and Monet in particular) by the time I first visited Paris. Except, there’s an oval basement room in the Orangerie where you’re surrounded by six vast Water Lily canvases donated by Monet after WWI’s Armistice… and I fell right back in love with his work all over again. It taught me to always see works of art in person.
   
5. Galway
   The only time I’ve visited Ireland is to see my rugby team play – yes, there may be a bit of a theme there 😉 We stayed somewhere lovely, got to enjoy the craic at the game and in some great Irish pubs, ate wonderful food, snacked on oysters, drank pints of Guinness (them) and cider (me) starting at breakfast, before I introduced my friend to the wonders of Irish whiskey of an evening while listening to Irish folk songs. We enjoyed long walks around the gorgeous town and along the rain swollen river, getting soaked to the skin. Just heavenly.
   
6. The quick shift gearbox
   I enjoy driving but didn’t realise quite how much until I I tried a sporty little Peugeot. The salesman said “the gearbox is a bit tricky to get the hang of” but I insisted on a test drive. Having been taught to drive properly, it felt absolutely natural to me straight away, so he rapidly shut up and enjoyed the ride. It was dark green, with a beige leather and dark green fabric interior, and my teenage daughter’s friends loved it. Her male friends thought I drove the coolest car in the world, and I won’t pretend I felt anything other that the absolute dog’s doodahs driving it. I may’ve received a few too many speeding tickets at the time 😉
   
7. The Matterhorn
   Imagine sitting in a fabulous apartment looking across the rooftops of the town to the Matterhorn. That was me, the year a good friend invited me to spend a week in Zermatt staying at her brother’s apartment. From the large terrace, or through the all-round picture windows, we had the most fabulous view. It was quite the sight to wake up to.
   
8. Africa
   My family lived in Nigeria for 6 years, arriving at the tail end of the civil war, living through martial law. While terrifying at times for a confused child, we were also blessed with an amazing lifestyle. I didn’t truly appreciate Nigeria (and the African mindset) till much later. It was a massive culture shift from life in India, and Nigerians schooled me in pride and respect which changed me and my way of thinking in a truly crucial manner. And there’s no doubting the music was way better 🙂
   
9. India
   The brightly coloured silks, the smell of spices cooking, the *chef’s kiss* food, the architecture, the languages, the multiplicity of cultures, the train journeys, the hugely diverse geography – these were all aspects I loved about India, but more important than all of them, India was home. The country of my birth, I lived there till I turned 11, surrounded by every member of my small family. Leaving was emotionally traumatic for many reasons, and while I acknowledge I’d likely be a fish out of water there now, I’ve never had that sense of home anywhere else.
   
10. Andalucia
    Not keen on England’s cold and rainy weather, my grandparents moved to southern Spain after retiring from a lifetime spent largely in India. When they moved, it was to a small development on the edge of a relatively quiet village. By the time of their deaths, the development had become huge, the village no longer quiet, and the coast road a multi-lane highway. I loved it and spent many a holiday there. Twenty years later, my daughter holidayed there too, only for us to discover we’d both chosen to frequent the same corner bar in the local port 🙂
    
11. The Twin Towers
    In my early twenties, I was persuaded last minute to join 2 friends on their planned travels around the USA. Sadly, little planning had taken place, and it ended up being a bit of a shitshow. We spent our first week in NYC seeing the sights, including the Twin Towers. At the time, I was most taken with the Empire State building – Art Deco being my aesthetic – but with all that’s happened since, I am truly grateful I took the time to visit the Twin Towers and appreciate the view to the streets below from it’s stunning windows.
    
12. Key West
    This is where I ended my ill-fated trip to the US with two friends. I was flying back from Miami but as my friends didn’t take to Florida, they headed off, leaving me soaking up the sun for a couple of weeks on my own. I enjoyed the autumn sunshine, laid around the motel pool reading, buzzed about on a rented moped and joined the crowds watching the sun go down, as the sunsets were every bit as good as their reputation.
    
13. Tenby, Wales
    I didn’t visit Wales until my fifties when I was invited to visit Tenby by new Welsh friends. They were a party crowd so I wasn’t expecting to find Edwardian houses painted in ice-cream colours overlooking a sandy beach. It is absolutely beautiful, especially if you avoid the town centre where the drinkers and party crowd congregate.
    
14. Cornwall
    Sometimes pretty and chocolate-boxy, but also notorious for the weather being wild enough to match its jagged coastline. With smuggling in its history, tourism is now their primary source of earning following the death of the tin mining industry. I first visited one summer with family when it was sunny and pretty, and have to admit being unimpressed. When I returned decades later and spent the weekend with a friend who’s a local history buff, it was simply fabulous, despite getting so drenched we had to change our waterproofs twice a day. Unfortunately, it’s a shag of a drive, or I’d be tempted to visit more often.
    
15. Swimming
    I didn’t learn to swim until I was about 2 years old. My mother couldn’t swim and wouldn’t allow my father to teach me. Then one day, he dropped me into the swimming pool, I bobbed up to the surface and rapidly became a complete and utter water baby.
    
16. Water-skiing
    During my teens, I wanted to learn how to water ski. Our neighbours, the Nices (who we met on the same day as a family called Good – I kid you not), were tall, dark, handsome, and could water ski like champs. He offered to teach me, and he tried, really, really hard. But, the thing is, I’ve always had absolutely no sense of balance. I managed a few feet – no more – before we both decided it simply wasn’t for me. But I’m glad I gave it my best shot.
    
17. Veuve Cliquot
    While they do a decent rosé, it’s their white I tend to drink. It was my much loved grandmother’s favourite champagne, such that she named one of her famed pedigree standard poodles Cliquot (the champagne coloured one, of course).
    
18. Laurent Perrier Rosé
    My favourite champagne – bar none. We discovered this gem after it was gifted to my father at work. One of few (it was the only at the time) made to be rosé rather than blended. Not cheap, but worth every penny, and I just love the stubby, curvy bottle.
    
19. Meeting the love of my life
    You know how Hollywood (and books) lead us to believe in the type of love that blows you away, and that it’s the only type of love worth having? Well, I’d not felt that way about anyone and – after my 50th birthday – seriously wondered what was wrong with me. And then I met him. There was no doubting he was “the one” – the love of my life. Sadly, by that point in his life he was broken emotionally, not truly available, and I was never able to see myself introducing him to my daughter. So…
    
20. Having the self-worth to leave him
    I ended it, for I knew we had no future and I valued myself enough to build a life for myself without him. He agreed with me, although we remained in touch until his later death from cancer.
    
21. Becoming a mother
    Not being pregnant, nor the giving birth, but the falling in love with that helpless scrap, then having the pleasure to watch them grow and develop into the wonderful human being and mother they are now. Nothing else comes close.
    
22. Becoming a grandma
    It’s a different kind of love to that I felt (and still feel) for my daughter. I love to see family resemblances of looks and personality, and how different they are to each other, while loving one another fiercely. It’s a genuine privilege to have lived long enough to have this experience.
    
23. Being told I was clever
    My schooling was messy, I’d been an average student, struggling with puberty, hating boarding school, and quite simply had no idea how to study – and so achieved mediocre marks. It didn’t bother me as – being a girl – there was no thought of my attending University or having any form of career anyway. I decided to study in my fifties and was having trouble writing a set essay for my Psychology course when my my University tutor told me to stop thinking like a Masters student. She has subsequently tried to persuade me to continue with my studies to that level but, while tempted, I’ve not been able to make it happen. She seemed surprised I didn’t know I not only had a good brain but was, indeed, clever.

Are you a bucket list person, or do you prefer to say yes to opportunities and/or experiences when they arise?

© Debs Carey, 2026