A list of things I don’t love

You know me, I’m going to make this an alphabetical list – my brain just seems to be drawn to them! 😀 But thanks are due to Kari at A Grace Full Life for inspiring this list.

Arrogance and aggression – confidence and assertiveness are difficult qualities to learn when you don’t have them. Unfortunately, what can happen is that people mistakenly tip into arrogance and aggression when trying to develop them (and yes, I’ve witnessed this personally). Of course, others are just naturally arrogant and aggressive, but it’s unpleasant being on the receiving end regardless of how the person ended up with these behaviours.

Banter – as a form of humour I mean. I used to love it, because the banter I experienced was between my siblings or with good friends, who all knew and cared about the feelings of each other. But the word is getting a bad name when used to describe someone behaving in a bullying or mocking manner, and then brushes it off as “only a joke” or “banter”. Is the word banter used in the US in the same manner?

Cockiness – that particularly male type of confidence where there’s manspreading and/or mansplaining, but especially that rolling walk whereby they take up the entirety of the pavement/sidewalk, while showcasing their muscled bodies. Indeed, I may’ve put Himself off watching NCIS LA, because I hated seeing LL Cool J walk that way, and didn’t keep my feelings to myself. I know I’m possibly being unreasonable on this one, but it really gets my goat.

Deckchair – these creations, much beloved as depictions of the British seaside, only look good in photographs but – in truth – are evil creations. Impossible to get in or out of with any degree of grace or elegance, and as for working out how to set one up when it’s been folded away… you’re a better man than I Gunga Din!

Electric cars – something we all got very excited about as an idea but more and more reasons for doubt are appearing. In the UK, the infrastructure continues to be well behind where it needs to be, especially in rural areas. For those without their own driveway, a not uncommon sight is a charging cable trailing out a window, across the pavement/sidewalk to a car, and woe betide anyone who’s blind, or disabled or just someone who would struggle to duck under/climb over said cable, let alone using a buggie or wheelchair. Battery life isn’t unlimited and, despite electric cars being considerably more expensive than fuel driven options, battery replacement costs are absolutely horrendous. And that’s before we talk about the problem of battery disposal, which has simply been ignored by our UK government.

Fly tipping – having moved to a rural area, a new phenomenon I’ve had to become familiar with is the dumping of rubbish to avoid being charged for its disposal. Stuff appears in gateways to a field, a layby on the side of a road, anywhere green which is out of direct line of sight. It’s a horrible eyesore. Living in a village or small town, even a city, people would dump things in other people’s bins or skips overnight, or be utterly brazen during the day – especially at apartment blocks or office complexes. While that was annoying, there’s something about the beauty of nature being spoiled that moves me from feeling irked to upset.

Ghosting – in my 5 years of online dating, I never ghosted anyone. I felt it took little effort to send a brief, polite message saying ‘thanks but no thanks’. If that person then argued, then I felt no compunction in ignoring – and even blocking if they continued – because arguing in those circumstances is just being pushy at best, even verging on bullying or manipulation. Don’t get me wrong – anyone sending me a message saying simply ‘hey’ or ‘hi’ got ignored, because it would take more words for me to say ‘thanks but no thanks’ than they’d bothered with. But ghosting has become so prevalent now in the dating world that I wonder if it’s more a sign of a world in which manners are no longer valued.

Horror – stories, TV or films. I even avoided the early Hammer Horror films. A big contributory factor was doubtless than I grew up afraid of the dark, as the result of my nanny using the concept of the boogey man to keep me in bed when I was fidgety and wanted to get up.

Ignorance – the growing rejection of expertise harnessed with belief in the empiric rightness of one’s own opinion distresses me. Of course, social media algorithms play a large part, but it’s the wilfulness which most upsets me, as the complete lack of self-awareness means no attempt is made to examine any opinion to test it for veracity.

Jellyfish – they can look pretty – even beautiful – in the water, but it’s not a nice experience to have their legs wrapped around any part of your body. My brother still has the scars on his calf from being stung by a Portuguese Man o’ War before his 10th birthday, and he’s now over 50.

Kidneys – there was a time I would actually say offal of every sort, but Himself persuaded me to taste his calves liver in a restaurant, and it was simply luscious. That said, I know I’m not going to move on the subject of kidneys, as even the smell makes me gag.

Lies – I recently heard an ex-politician, now academic and NGO founder, talk about someone in their circle who’s accepted a peerage from one of our recent (and brief) past Prime Ministers. He questioned how on earth they could swallow their principles, only to be told to “grow up, we’re living in a post-truth world.” I realise that’s where the state of UK politics has now slipped, but a presumption that the world doesn’t value truth anymore shocked me (and clearly him) to the core.

Marigolds – as many of you know, India was the home of my childhood, and there is much about it I love, while also some that I don’t. One entirely innocent “not like” is the marigold. These orange flowers are commonly strung onto garlands for all forms of celebration, but I’ve never been keen – not since I was a child. I don’t know if it’s the overpowering nature of their scent when they’re draped around your neck – a scent you cannot escape, because to remove your garland is an act of disrespect and ingratitude. Or maybe it’s that their colour is too akin to yellow (see below).

Narcissism – we’re seeing this word everywhere and, clearly, not everyone is able to make this diagnosis accurately themselves. BUT… we are also learning a lot more about the phenomenon. A good friend lost many years and lots of friends as a result of her relationship with a narcissist, so I have a personal reason for not liking it.

Obligation – feeling obliged, or more specifically being made to feel obligated, is something I feel strongly about. One set of my grandparents had a way of making you feel obliged, so that you’d do whatever it was they wanted you to. They had obligation – and duty – down to a fine art and, even as a young person, I knew that it was wrong.

Politicians – I may be particularly jaded after the year of 3 Prime Ministers in 2022 and, although I am absolutely desperate for the next election, in the fervent hope of a change in party rather than just the figurehead of the same one, I am not looking forward to the baseless lies and ridiculous promises which the voting public seems inclined to fall for time-after-time.

Queues – we British do queues. Indeed, we’re famed for our willingness to queue. And while I agree totally in the system, I bloody hate them. My heart positively sinks whenever I go somewhere and I see a queue ahead of me – especially a long one, ‘cos you just have to accept them, and queue with good humour. And I’ve rarely taken anything to entertain myself either.

Raisins – the first time I took a bite of wedding cake, I almost spat it out. Fortunately I’d been well brought up, but it was the most uncomfortable experience finishing that mouthful. The icing was oh so sweet and the marzipan simply horrible. But the worst part was having to chew the cake itself – loaded as it was with currants and raisins. Chewy and sticky, texturally unsound and not pleasant to taste… I couldn’t understand what anyone could see in it and them. When I later discovered those little boxes of raisins which are marketed as suitable healthy snacks for small children, I nearly gagged. But my grandchildren are absolute fiends for them… so, clearly what do I know!

Selling – or rather having to do it in order to have a business. I love coaching and helping people change their lives for the better, but I hate having to sell in order to have a regular supply of clients. But it’s only in Field of Dreams that if you build it, they will come. The funny thing is that both my father and my brother (who I’m most alike) are talented and successful salesmen but, in this aspect, I favour my mother. Why couldn’t it have been her gorgeous shapely calves, long dark locks or Elizabeth Taylor eyes…?

Trolls – by which I mean keyboard warriors who so bravely harass and abuse people (often women) online from the behind the safety of their screens. I’ve had one who targeted me, but could only succeed in getting to me through mutual friends. He was a nasty piece of work and was carrying out his war of words from behind his screen in prison, as I later discovered.

Umbrellas – and I say that despite living in a country which is famed the world over for its rainy climate. Umbrellas are just one more thing to carry, and I was constantly putting them down and forgetting them, meaning I spent a small fortune replacing them back in my twenties, when I still bothered with them. Nowadays, when I’ve already pared back the contents of my handbag to virtually nothing, even those small fold-up ones are extra weight and bulk. So I have raincoats with hoods, or I just get wet. Fortunately, I have short hair, so it’s not like it’s going to cause a hairdressing crisis – all of which segways nicely into my chosen word for V 😉

Vanity – I’ve never been someone who spent much time and effort over my appearance. My mother and sisters look alike, and are all attractive in a feminine manner. Me – I look like my father and my brother, so time in front of the mirror has never been my thing. I’ve made differing levels of effort with my looks throughout my life, but clearly I was never going to be drawn to any man who had even a scrap of vanity in their make-up.

Xenophobia – I don’t believe I need to expand on this in the current climate.

Yellow – although, to be fair, that’s just because it makes me look ill and dying 😉 As a result, it appears nowhere in my wardrobe and nowhere in my home. It doesn’t stop me enjoying daffodils in the wild or seeing other people wearing it when it suits them (even if I’m convinced those individuals are few and far between 😀 ).

Zany – it sounds like one of those words where someone is trying too hard. I accept that zany is probably a great thing in a comedian, but would you want a zany colleague, or husband/wife? I love a good sense of humour, but I prefer witty to so-far-out-there-you-don’t-know-what-they’re-going-to-do (or not do). I mean, it just all sounds a bit… unreliable and hard work.

What do you think about some of the items on my list? Are there any items of your own that you’d like to share?

20 thoughts on “A list of things I don’t love

Add yours

  1. I agree with the majority of your dislikes. I know nothing of ‘ghosting’, though my middle daughter does. She also had a very difficult relationship with a narcissist.

    Electric cars are another thing UK got into without thought. I notice that some houses offered for sale now boast of electric car charging points. A little while ago it was bifold doors. Don’t people ever think for themselves?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. All I can say, Debs, is … WOW! What an impressive effort and list. I especially agree with your items that describe this so-called “post-truth” world in all its unkind forms. 🥲

    Liked by 1 person

  3. That’s quite the list. And in some cases, it’s like you read my mind. I like yellow on the walls in children’s rooms and in flowers, but that’s about it. Orange I don’t even like on walls, but I do like it on marigolds, along with yellow. Spouse germinates a special yellow marigold for my garden every summer called a “lofty lady,” which is a large puffball of sunshine (also one of the few flowers that can handle Southern California’s late summer/ early fall heat and dryness). The willful ignorance of evangelical christians in the US is maddening and has been for decades, so I’m absolutely with you there. Zany isn’t my favorite form of humor on the screen or in real life, but witty banter is–the zingers of “Pride and Prejudice” being some of my favorites. But when it turns cruel or insulting, it’s not banter anymore, it’s just trolling. Yet when someone clever mocks someone willfully ignorant for their inevitable hypocrisy? I cheer. Because those folks are arrogant and aggressive in their ignorance, they spread lies, and they deserve to be checked!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love that you made your own list! I also appreciate that you alphabetized it! This made my day because I am currently working on another one of these posts.

    These types of posts make me realize that we have more in common than we do contrasts. I enjoy learning new things, so reading your list was fun and interesting. Thank you for sharing this and linking to my blog. 😘❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m so sorry to hear of your daughter’s dating/relationship experiences. The recovery after involvement with a narcissist is a tough road to travel. I hope she’s able to get some professional support with that.

    As for electric cars and bifold doors 😀


  6. Jane, I thought it was going to be a lot harder, but I guess there’s LOTS of stuff I don’t like! That “post truth” was such a gut punch, and totally unexpected. I was listening to a history podcast where most of the conversation was about this gentleman’s father’s WWII war experience, when this little anecdote was shared. Of course, I couldn’t not share it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I did wonder if fly tipping was a universal term for this behaviour LA. Thank you, and does that mean we will see you do one sometime?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I know what you mean Autumn about those zingers aimed at all those people that I find impossible to love. I simply cannot help but celebrate and cheer when they land. Even when it flies way over the heads of the unlovely.

    I love the sound of those marigolds in your garden (I googled to check ’em out). I just think that’s where they should stay – growing, not draped around my neck!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks Kari, yes I love how I spend most of my time with list posts nodding my way through them, or going “oh, I never thought about that, but yes”! Thanks again for the inspiration 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. What happens is I’ll go to click on a post, it will take me back to the reader roll, and it moves a post I want to read up a spot and then I can’t find it…😳


  11. I like this idea of listing your dislikes. I’ve seen Kari do it and now you. A trend? When I first started blogging in 2004 it was a thing to list 10 Likes & 10 Dislikes in your sidebar. That way you’d give new readers a chance to size ‘ya up before they jumped into your world. I’m with you 100% on Deckchairs, Kidneys, Obligation, Selling, and Trolls.


  12. Here they are also used to decorate the home altars during the Day of the Dead, and the petals are scattered along the path to the altar–the strong scent supposedly helps guide the deceased home.


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