A list of things I don’t love

You know me, I’m going to make this an alphabetical list – my brain just seems to be drawn to them! 😀 But thanks are due to Kari at A Grace Full Life for inspiring this list.

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Arrogance and aggression – confidence and assertiveness are difficult qualities to learn when you don’t have them. Unfortunately, what can happen is that people mistakenly tip into arrogance and aggression when trying to develop them (and yes, I’ve witnessed this personally). Of course, others are just naturally arrogant and aggressive, but it’s unpleasant being on the receiving end regardless of how the person ended up with these behaviours.

Banter – as a form of humour I mean. I used to love it, because the banter I experienced was between my siblings or with good friends, who all knew and cared about the feelings of each other. But the word is getting a bad name when used to describe someone behaving in a bullying or mocking manner, and then brushes it off as “only a joke” or “banter”. Is the word banter used in the US in the same manner?

Cockiness – that particularly male type of confidence where there’s manspreading and/or mansplaining, but especially that rolling walk whereby they take up the entirety of the pavement/sidewalk, while showcasing their muscled bodies. Indeed, I may’ve put Himself off watching NCIS LA, because I hated seeing LL Cool J walk that way, and didn’t keep my feelings to myself. I know I’m possibly being unreasonable on this one, but it really gets my goat.

Electric cars – something we all got very excited about as an idea but more and more reasons for doubt are appearing. In the UK, the infrastructure continues to be well behind where it needs to be, especially in rural areas. For those without their own driveway, a not uncommon sight is a charging cable trailing out a window, across the pavement/sidewalk to a car, and woe betide anyone who’s blind, or disabled or just someone who would struggle to duck under/climb over said cable, let alone using a buggie or wheelchair. Battery life isn’t unlimited and, despite electric cars being considerably more expensive than fuel driven options, battery replacement costs are absolutely horrendous. And that’s before we talk about the problem of battery disposal, which has simply been ignored by our UK government.

Fly tipping – having moved to a rural area, a new phenomenon I’ve had to become familiar with is the dumping of rubbish to avoid being charged for its disposal. Stuff appears in gateways to a field, a layby on the side of a road, anywhere green which is out of direct line of sight. It’s a horrible eyesore. Living in a village or small town, even a city, people would dump things in other people’s bins or skips overnight, or be utterly brazen during the day – especially at apartment blocks or office complexes. While that was annoying, there’s something about the beauty of nature being spoiled that moves me from feeling irked to upset.

Ghosting – in my 5 years of online dating, I never ghosted anyone. I felt it took little effort to send a brief, polite message saying ‘thanks but no thanks’. If that person then argued, then I felt no compunction in ignoring – and even blocking if they continued – because arguing in those circumstances is just being pushy at best, even verging on bullying or manipulation. Don’t get me wrong – anyone sending me a message saying simply ‘hey’ or ‘hi’ got ignored, because it would take more words for me to say ‘thanks but no thanks’ than they’d bothered with. But ghosting has become so prevalent now in the dating world that I wonder if it’s more a sign of a world in which manners are no longer valued.

Horror – stories, TV or films. I even avoided the early Hammer Horror films. A big contributory factor was doubtless than I grew up afraid of the dark, as the result of my nanny using the concept of the boogey man to keep me in bed when I was fidgety and wanted to get up.

Ignorance – the growing rejection of expertise harnessed with belief in the empiric rightness of one’s own opinion distresses me. Of course, social media algorithms play a large part, but it’s the wilfulness which most upsets me, as the complete lack of self-awareness means no attempt is made to examine any opinion to test it for veracity.

Kidneys – there was a time I would actually say offal of every sort, but Himself persuaded me to taste his calves liver in a restaurant, and it was simply luscious. That said, I know I’m not going to move on the subject of kidneys, as even the smell makes me gag.

Lies – I recently heard an ex-politician, now academic and NGO founder, talk about someone in their circle who’s accepted a peerage from one of our recent (and brief) past Prime Ministers. He questioned how on earth they could swallow their principles, only to be told to “grow up, we’re living in a post-truth world.” I realise that’s where the state of UK politics has now slipped, but a presumption that the world doesn’t value truth anymore shocked me (and clearly him) to the core.

Narcissism – we’re seeing this word everywhere and, clearly, not everyone is able to make this diagnosis accurately themselves. BUT… we are also learning a lot more about the phenomenon. A good friend lost many years and lots of friends as a result of her relationship with a narcissist, so I have a personal reason for not liking it.

Obligation – feeling obliged, or more specifically being made to feel obligated, is something I feel strongly about. One set of my grandparents had a way of making you feel obliged, so that you’d do whatever it was they wanted you to. They had obligation – and duty – down to a fine art and, even as a young person, I knew that it was wrong.

Politicians – I may be particularly jaded after the year of 3 Prime Ministers in 2022 and, although I am absolutely desperate for the next election, in the fervent hope of a change in party rather than just the figurehead of the same one, I am not looking forward to the baseless lies and ridiculous promises which the voting public seems inclined to fall for time-after-time.

Raisins – the first time I took a bite of wedding cake, I almost spat it out. Fortunately I’d been well brought up, but it was the most uncomfortable experience finishing that mouthful. The icing was oh so sweet and the marzipan simply horrible. But the worst part was having to chew the cake itself – loaded as it was with currants and raisins. Chewy and sticky, texturally unsound and not pleasant to taste… I couldn’t understand what anyone could see in it and them. When I later discovered those little boxes of raisins which are marketed as suitable healthy snacks for small children, I nearly gagged. But my grandchildren are absolute fiends for them… so, clearly what do I know!

Selling – or rather having to do it in order to have a business. I love coaching and helping people change their lives for the better, but I hate having to sell in order to have a regular supply of clients. But it’s only in Field of Dreams that if you build it, they will come. The funny thing is that both my father and my brother (who I’m most alike) are talented and successful salesmen but, in this aspect, I favour my mother. Why couldn’t it have been her gorgeous shapely calves, long dark locks or Elizabeth Taylor eyes…?

Trolls – by which I mean keyboard warriors who so bravely harass and abuse people (often women) online from the behind the safety of their screens. I’ve had one who targeted me, but could only succeed in getting to me through mutual friends. He was a nasty piece of work and was carrying out his war of words from behind his screen in prison, as I later discovered.

Umbrellas – and I say that despite living in a country which is famed the world over for its rainy climate. Umbrellas are just one more thing to carry, and I was constantly putting them down and forgetting them, meaning I spent a small fortune replacing them back in my twenties, when I still bothered with them. Nowadays, when I’ve already pared back the contents of my handbag to virtually nothing, even those small fold-up ones are extra weight and bulk. So I have raincoats with hoods, or I just get wet. Fortunately, I have short hair, so it’s not like it’s going to cause a hairdressing crisis – all of which segways nicely into my chosen word for V 😉

Vanity – I’ve never been someone who spent much time and effort over my appearance. My mother and sisters look alike, and are all attractive in a feminine manner. Me – I look like my father and my brother, so time in front of the mirror has never been my thing. I’ve made differing levels of effort with my looks throughout my life, but clearly I was never going to be drawn to any man who had even a scrap of vanity in their make-up.

Xenophobia – I don’t believe I need to expand on this in the current climate.

Yellow – although, to be fair, that’s just because it makes me look ill and dying 😉 As a result, it appears nowhere in my wardrobe and nowhere in my home. It doesn’t stop me enjoying daffodils in the wild or seeing other people wearing it when it suits them (even if I’m convinced those individuals are few and far between 😀 ).

Zany – it sounds like one of those words where someone is trying too hard. I accept that zany is probably a great thing in a comedian, but would you want a zany colleague, or husband/wife? I love a good sense of humour, but I prefer witty to so-far-out-there-you-don’t-know-what-they’re-going-to-do (or not do). I mean, it just all sounds a bit… unreliable and hard work.

What do you think about some of the items on my list? Are there any items of your own that you’d like to share?