By the time I get to…

Phoenix sorry, not sorry to Jimmy Webb and Glen Campbell 😉 in this case, it’s by the time I reach the grand old age of 70.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t (and never have had) a bucket list, instead I thought I’d take a look back at some of the places I’ve been to and the experiences I’ve had. And, just for fun, I thought I’d see how close to 70 I could get in the years running up to my 70th birthday.

This is Part 2, see here for part 1 (and items 1-23).

24. Gandhi – the film
In my early twenties, I was at a bit of a loose end work-wise and decided to do temporary work in London. One gig was at a company called Goldcrest Films, who later offered me a permanent job. I accepted, predominantly to have whatever connection I could with this film. Knowing my background, I was given the script to read and asked for my opinion. It appears I didn’t fluff it, ‘cos the boss would wheel me out to persuade various British financiers who were unhappy about some bits of the film where the Brits don’t come out too well. I’ll never forget my boss commenting that people always forgot how good an actor (Sir Richard) Dickie Attenborough was when they were dealing with him as a Director and Producer, for he was, indeed, quite something to behold.

25. Connecticut
My ill-fated US trip cost me two friendships, but this was one solidly happy memory. We stayed with an ex-colleague who was living in a clapboard house on the Connecticut river, in a town so small, every day was quiet, peaceful, and oh so restful. Days were spent eating long leisurely meals, puttering about on the river, doing the crossword, reading, and entertaining our friend’s toddler. Bliss. I would’ve stayed there for longer, but my friends were ready to move on as, by that time, I’d brokered peace between their two very different ideas of what the trip would look like.

26. Rugby
Not the place, but the game. I was already acquainted with the game when my (now) ex invited me to watch his club play. I was surprised to discover it was the type of club where supporters wore shirts with the club tie, and clapped politely, whereas the opposition’s supporters wore replica shirts and were noisily supportive. To my delight, it didn’t take long for things to change, although I’m not sure he ever got over it. He and I are no longer together, but they’re still my club. I love the game because there’s room on the field for bodies of all sizes and shapes. There’s also a massively social side around the game, especially at grass roots level. If I was to move to a new town and knew no-one, a rugby club is one of the places I’d seek out first.

27. Writing fiction
I’m not someone who’s written stories since I was a child. I was invited my a friend to co-host a fiction blog in my early fifties, and wrote my first attempt in response to an online prompt. Despite not being in the genre I usually write, I’ve recently had thoughts about building on it. Surprisingly, another story which has also stayed with me – again out of my normal genre and written in response to a prompt – is drawing me back to develop both further. It occurs to me it could be because they both required a bit of world-building, and maybe I enjoy that process more than I expected to.

28. April A-Z
This is a month long blogging challenge which takes place every April. Bloggers write posts every day except Sunday, and follow an A-Z format. The subject matter is unlimited, there’s a support team, and you get to “meet” all kinds of people from around the world. I’ve participated a number of times, although haven’t done so recently. It is pretty intense, but my writing partner and I used it to write the first draft of our novel. I know other writers have used it successfully for the same purpose. As a new blogger, it was a wonderful entry point into the world of blogging.

29. My first fictional character
When my writing partner and I were working on our co-written piece of fiction, we needed a character called Juliet. The primary characters in our story were my writing partner’s creations, so she was my first fully-fleshed out fictional character. At the time, it was just something I dashed off in the time-pressure of the writing Challenge in which we were taking part, but I look back on her in a proprietary manner and with a degree of pride. It’s something I’m still learning, but it’s such an enjoyable and satisfying process.

30. Goldsmiths University, London
When my daughter was checking out potential Universities, one of the places we visited was Goldsmiths. She didn’t choose it, but I fell in love with it immediately. Ten years later, I applied to study there as a mature student, and was accepted. It was a total PITA to attend, requiring two changes of train and a two-hour journey each way, but I came home literally buzzing. It all came full circle a couple of years ago when my daughter became a tutor there.

31. Cobham
Not somewhere people have heard of, this is the town I moved to when my long-term relationship ended at age 50. I’d met some lovely locals in a pub one day, discovered most of them were connected to the local rugby club, and choose to move there. Living there was the closest I’ve felt to home anywhere in England. It has good pubs, cafes and eateries, a river with a watermill, great shops, as well as that lively, successful and welcoming rugby club. I was emotionally and mentally fragile when I moved there, but it treated me very kindly. Unfortunately prices soared through the roof after Chelsea football club moved their training ground there and the manager demanded all the players lived within a 15 minute drive which made it unsustainable for ordinary people to afford.

32. London’s Parks
London is blessed with 8 royal parks, as well as countless smaller green spaces. Richmond and Bushy Park offer vistas of deer among the lush greenery, Regents Park offers the zoo and canalside walks, Kensington Gardens as well as being a favourite to the young who find the boating pond irresistible, is the site of big events. I recall attending the fireworks celebrating the engagement of Prince (now King) Charles and Diana Spencer. More recently, Victoria Park in Hackney was the site of London’s 2012 Olympics and now offers something special to residents of East London. These are just a handful, but there are many more, offering everything from tiny little grassy squares, to oases of peace in the busy city.

33. The River Thames
You can travel down it by riverboat, but it’s best appreciated during a gentle stroll or sat riverside in a restaurant, pub or bar. In the centre of town, the Southbank is lively, offering multiple venues in which to appreciate art and culture, plentiful places to eat & drink, street performers aplenty, and seasonal fairs. From Hampton Court Palace, you can travel one way and find the banks lined with houseboats, another way and it’s large houses with their gardens stretching to the water’s edge – some with boats tied up to jetties. In Docklands you’ll still find plentiful commercial river traffic, as well as the Thames Barrier protecting the city from flooding. But my favourite is crossing Hammersmith Bridge on foot, the bridge bouncing under my feet as the traffic crossed it. I did so twice a day during the year I lived in a little apartment on the river where the Oxford & Cambridge boat race takes place. It turned out that bouncing wasn’t a good thing, and the bridge is currently closed to traffic.

34. Henley Regatta
There’s various events on the UK’s social calendar where the monied and the titled dress up in their best bib and tucker. Not being in either of those categories, they’ve tended to pass me by, until a friend (who’s ex-husband was both) invited a group of us to attend the Regatta at Henley. There’s a strict dress code (no trousers for women, and hemlines cannot fall above the knee; men in shirts with collars and ties, and jackets cannot be removed regardless the temperature). I have to admit it was a lot of fun, with champagne consumed in vast quantity, and lots of fit men in lycra.

35. Yo Yo Ma at the Royal Festival Hall
A friend invited me to a Proms event at the Royal Festival Hall in London to support our friend who’s in a BBC choir. What she didn’t tell me is it was a double bill, and that Yo Yo Ma was performing first. We were fortunate to have a box, which made the whole experience even more memorable. A funny aside is she’s the classical music person, but had no idea who he was.

36. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra
Another close friend is a supporter of a regional theatre local to her home and gets advance dibs on tickets to events. Each year, when the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra performs there on tour, we get tickets. We’ve never asked who the soloists are, or what they’re performing – to be honest, we’re both classical music novices. We just go, and we’ve yet to be anything other than transported with delight.

37. Luther Vandross live in London
My ex liked to attend big music events (of which I am not a fan, preferring small intimate venues), but when Luther Vandross was in town, he was able to tempt me. We got fantastic tickets (6 rows from the front) which absolutely transformed the experience. There were still the crowds, the traffic, and all the broohaha which comes with a mega event to navigate – but Luther himself was perfection.

38. The Jazz Club
There was a little club across the road from the racecourse at Ascot, where a jazz afficionado who was all about business and making money for most of the year, indulged himself by inviting his favourites to perform on a few Sunday afternoons each year. Those in the know – and my friend Dave was one – would pile in, enjoy a roast lunch, and listen to some simply superb jazz. When he retired, a vast hole was left.

39. Bally Suisse
One day at work, I was surprised to discover there was a clothing allowance. With the deadline for claiming it about to expire, I headed to Sloane Square and the Kings Road where I bought two items – both horribly expensive. The first was a pair of classic black pumps from Bally Suisse. When I tried them on, I was convinced I’d been brought the wrong pair, for they were unbelievably comfortable despite being absurdly high of heel. Indeed, they were so perfectly balanced, I could run for the bus wearing them. They remain the most expensive (and comfortable) pair of shoes I’ve even owned, and I mourned their eventual death.

40. The men at my feet skirt
On that same shopping expedition, I bought a skirt. A deep rich burgundy, in a soft and horribly expensive wool/cashmere blend – it was impeccably cut and oh so sexy. Not in an obvious bodycon manner, but in an achingly classy way. Every time I wore it, I got hit on, and by 9s and 10s. Just to be clear, I just about scrape a 7… ’twas the skirt that did it.

41. Bangladesh
For most people, Bangladesh is the George Harrison song, maybe a place you seen on the news – with flooding, crops failing, and the population starving – but for me and my family, it was home for a couple of years. There was clearly a lot about it that wasn’t great – the aforementioned just for starters – but it was my last experience of life in the Indian sub-continent, so I remember it with fondness. Finding a house where the door heights were over 5′ 6″ proved to be a real challenge, but the people were warm and friendly and, even when they were overthrowing the government (twice while we were there), they were enormously polite about keeping us out of it.

42. The Hay Book Festival
I’m a reader so for years I did that “oh I wish I could go”… until I finally pulled myself together and made it happen. I went with a friend two years running, and it was simply joyous. There was a wonderful mix of authors talks, smaller current affairs discussions, and I could get lost for hours in the onsite bookshop. The town itself is perfection – olde worlde and quirky, and utterly thronged with book shops.

43. Salman Rushdie
He was one of the authors I saw at the Hay Festival where he was publicising his (then) latest novel The Golden House (recommended). Although I’ve loved many of his works, I went expecting him to be an arrogant prig, only to discover quite how charming and interesting a man he is. Amusingly, the pub we stayed in was frequented by his security detail during the time he was under fatwa, as he was housed nearby.

44. Playing the guitar
After my grandparents moved to Spain, my grandfather became fixated on one of the grandchildren having a guitar, and I ended up being the lucky one when I was 11 or 12. I learned to play, initially just folk stuff by picking up the chords from friends in school, but went on to take lessons in classical guitar. I was good too, but suffered horribly with stage fright, so it became a private pleasure.

45. Internet dating in my fifties
Strange to tell, it was a time when I made the best of friends – of both genders. I also dated a lot, had heaps of fun, fell in love, had my heart broken, and finally met Himself. It was a time of great change in my life – for both good and bad reasons – but I learned a lot about myself through the process. And although we complained at the time, the current cesspool proves quite how good a time it was to be single and on the internet.

As you can see, this list is a mix of the smaller cherished memories along with some bigger items. What makes something a memorable experience to you?

© Debs Carey, 2026